Random Ramblings Vol 1. To Compare and Contrast....

Soooo I'm going to take a departure from my normal writings on this blog for a while and speak in the first person narrative for a couple entries. So I'm up late ( or early as I usually am) and for shits and giggles (translation= bored), I decided to browse craigslist and a couple dating sites for the sure fuck of it all....

You know....my underlying thought during my ocular excavation is "Hmm.....these people sure do have life SOOOOO thoroughly fucked up". This is what I mean by that... Remember when we use to spend our days finger painting, playing duck duck goose and, sipping Motts apple from the small juice boxes? A.K.A Kindergarten? Remember that? Right during that illustrious time in our lives, we learned a VITAL....VITAL lesson..No not lesson we learned a SKILL that... I fear some people have abandoned in these modern times.. The skill to *drum roll* Compare and Contrast...knowing that while something maybe SIMILAR to something else.... we KNEW to never... in the history of NEVER, to EVER say it was the SAME thing... Like sure a Square, a Rectangle, and a Trapezoid ( go ahead...google it) are similar SUUUURE shit, they're in the same family but you don't hear the Square going around telling people its a Rectangle do you? Nah...



What the fuck is he talking about? This.....LADIES....*deep sigh* C'mon.... Coooooooooomon..... Level with me.... Keep it funky. If you're fat.... F-A-T.. fat...then fuck it! You're fat man. It's cool. No really it is...Do not.... I repeat.. DO NOT... say that you're "Thick"....."Curvy" ....."Voluptuous".. or whatever cockamamy adjective you've concocted in you mind to let US the reader know that you are one thing when CLEARLY....you aren't.

Now before I get a customary call, text, or smoke signal, or stark raving stampede from Hamburglar Bitches United, condemning me on my comments about "Big women" please refrain. I am not here to bash fat women... Not at ALL... I went to college so OF COURSE I've operated heavy machinery before...GRANTED  I MAY HAVE been heavily inebriated ( that's my story and I'm sticking to it) but that's either here nor there....Actually it's kinda like a right of passage....of sorts. Anyway So no I am not fat women bashing ( sober)....really. ALL I'm saying is....Don't sell me a dream that can end up as a nightmare.... If you REALLY want a guy to dig you.....be real with him. Oh yea.... and stop with the "3 years ago pic"...that ain't cute either toots.

You know what's the warped ass shit I saw on late night infomercial TV I've seen? It's this body sleeve thing that morphs your excess " more pushin for the cushion"-ness into a nice shapely form under your clothes...You know what I'm talking about.... As ingenious as it is....it can also get you utterly FUCKED UP. Really though? Soooooooooooooooooooo the day that we decided to have some good ole slap nasty American ass sex.... What the hell are you going to do? You can't body morph your way out of that one can you? You know what I'm going to invent? I'm going to invent this thing where, under my clothes it makes my penis look 5 inches bigger AND girthier then what it really is....Then when we have sex SURPRISE!!! I'm going to whip out my ole small ass play school shrimp dick.......  Would you like that? Oooh No?  * BBM sad face* followed by *Another deep sigh*



 Yes.... I have been bamboozled before on this NYC dating scene.... Let me tell you....not a cool thing. What it boils down to is this, if you aren't comfortable with yourself WITHOUT using DECEPTIVE or MISLEADING tactics....When do you honestly think other people will be comfortable with you? Of all the lies told on this earth... The saddest lie...it the lie you tell yourself....Keep it funky people....



This is only the beginning... I am an equal opportunity opinion giver....with a bastardized twisted. Using my inalienable right to freedom of speech.

Next time: Phonics.... That's FF-ON-EX  and how I WISH they still taught that shit in school....

Freestyle

So it is written, I feel this SO, it is a vengeful flow. Broken hands on my heart makes me a timeless soul, sho nuff, chucked back most appreciative of this golden glow naturally with this beyond man I go
So? Am I rhyming or Am I spitting an aura of male bravado…Am I lion or am I kitten This defacto male aficionado. Am I lying or am I kidding? The hearts no strong enough is he dying or is he quitting? The beats aren’t long enough
Why?
I AM death defined, I’ve death-defied, I’m DEF soooooo fine You blind? So find my words I spit venom so sick GET EM! HEEES LIT!! No lace? He’s a. trip. Acid? Don’t trip.  Many pens he’s split like tag who’s it? poet, the shIT so please come sIT. My shine sublime this rhyme? In not time, mai tai I sipped, reeelaaaaaaax……BUUUUULLSHIT!

Bobby seales on this beat but you can’t hear me none, blast on your mind until your ears are done, rapture your heart so you cannot run, military precision until your ears become my drums.





For Poppa

I remember the day when I took my first inhalation of this life… The phantom of your silhouette was the first thing my eyes never saw

I remember the first time I rode a bike, that same phantom was with me nurturing and protective, guiding me down cobblestone pavements and broke dream sidewalks

I remember my first adolescent fight… the first image to greet me when I came home victorious was your specter. Your silence was deafening but I understood clearly.

I remember my first heartache… Your words of wisdom and encouragement rang loudly like a sweet symphonic melody… just as Ludwig’s melody rang in his when we wrote his ninth.

Of all the things I remember about you the one that permeates my mind the most is the Idea of you... and how true I wish it was…